8 Reasons Why Some Churches Never Grow

By Perry Noble

Perry Noble is the founding and senior pastor of NewSpring Church in Anderson, Greenville, Columbia, and Florence, South Carolina. At just nine years old, the church averages over 10,000 people during weekend services. Perry is convicted about speaking the truth as plainly as possible. A prolific blogger, he's often a featured speaker at church leadership conferences.

1. The Vision Is Not Clear

If people don’t know where a church is supposed to be going, then it will attempt to go everywhere and eventually wind up nowhere.  (Interesting experiment–ask people this coming Sunday at your church, “What is our vision” and see if people give you the same answers or different ones.)

2. The Focus Is on Trying to Please Everyone

There is NO church on the planet that will make everyone happy every single week—and according to the Scriptures, that isn’t really supposed to be our obsession.  Too many times, we become so concerned with offending people that we actually offend Jesus.

3. Passionless Leadership

When a leader does what he/she does for a paycheck and not because it's their passion…it’s over.  I’ve said it before…I want difference-makers, not paycheck-takers.  Also, it is hard to be passionate about a place when a person's average stay at a church is two years or less.

4. Manufacturing Energy

If a program is dead in a church…then it needs a funeral, and the people need to move on.  Investing time, energy, and money into something that is dead will not revive it.  Celebrate the fact that “that” program had its day…and then move on.  AND quit trying to fire people up over events that you would not attend if you were not on staff.

5. Lack of Prayer

Many times, we work so hard putting our ideas together that we actually think there is no need for the supernatural power of God to be involved.  Prayer should not be the good luck charm that we stick at the beginning or the end of what we do…but rather it should be our constant desperation to see God do the undeniable among us.  Intense desperation often brings undeniable revelation!

6. Unwillingness to Take Risks

When our focus becomes to play it safe rather than to do whatever it takes to reach people far from God…it’s over.  NOWHERE in the Scriptures did God ever ask anyone to do anything that didn’t involve an “oh crap” moment.  We’ve GOT to be willing to embrace the uncertain if we want to see the unbelievable.

7. Disobedience to the Scriptures

Matthew 28:18-20, Mark 16:15, Luke 24:48, John 20:21, Acts 1:8, II Corinthians 5:16-21, Luke 19:10…I could go on and on…but we MUST understand that Jesus didn’t come to Earth, live here for 33 years, give HIS life for us, and then return back to heaven to intercede for us so that we could get in really little circles and talk about ourselves and condemn those who are not as good as us.  We are called to REACH PEOPLE FOR GOD—PERIOD!

8. Selfish Attitudes  

Matthew 20:28 says it all…and if we are going to be more like Jesus, we’ve GOT to serve others rather than expecting the church to be our servant all of the time.  When a person (or group of people) refuses to embrace that a call to follow Jesus is a call to serve…then we’ve lost sight of who He is, and eventually, we will make being a Christian all about Jesus following/serving us rather than us taking up our cross and following Him!

10 Secrets Many Senior Pastors Keep

By Ron Edmondson

Ron Edmondson is a pastor and church leader passionate about planting churches, helping established churches thrive, and assisting pastors and those in ministry think through leadership, strategy and life. Ron has over 20 years of business experience, mostly as a self-employed business owner, and he's been in full-time ministry for over eight years.

I get to hang out and know many senior pastors. I have a great heart for them and understand, firsthand, some of the pressures, frustrations, and joys which are unique to the role of a senior pastor. In my recent blog survey, over half my readers are in ministry and half that number are senior leaders.

After sharing these points at a conference for executive pastors I was asked to give my perspective as a senior pastor, since each of them report to one. I have revised some of them and added a couple, so I decided to share it again.

Here are 10 “secrets” about many senior pastors:

1. Leading from this position is overwhelming at times. We know Christ is ultimately in charge, but we also know it often seems everyone looks to us to have all the answers.

2. People tell the senior pastor all kinds of things about what is happening in their life or in the lives of others…many we would sometimes rather not know…and sometimes the weight of others problems we carry is enormous.

3. Most pastors walk with a degree of uncertainty, which keeps us in prayer, but also makes us question our abilities at times. It makes depression common for many senior pastors. (Need a Biblical example…see 1 Kings 19.)

4. Many senior pastors fear the possibility of failing in their role, so they thrive on the encouragement and prayers of others.

5. Sometimes we allow insecurity to cause us to become overprotective of our reputation and our position.

6. We face the same temptations and occasional spiritual dryness as everyone else. This means we need accountability, but are often afraid to seek it.

7. Our spouse is sometimes the loneliest person in the church and often feels extreme pressure to live up to unrealistic expectations.

8. Loneliness can exist for all leaders and many pastors suffer from it.

9. We seldom know whom we can trust, which is why we become guarded and appear hard to get to know. Most senior pastors have been burned by someone they once trusted.

10. We suspect the staff, church leaders, and congregation sometimes talk about us behind our back.

Granted, not every pastor faces each of these (that’s why I said “many”) and I happen to be in an extremely healthy church, but even still, some of these are real for me at times. Other pastors, for reasons on this post, will not want you assuming these things about them. In talking with dozens of senior pastors each year, I know this is a representative list for "many."

Senior pastors find joy in our work and, thankfully, most of us know we are in the center of God’s will vocationally. I don’t intend to take anything away from that in this post. We serve in a called position, so we are doing what we have been asked of God to do. When I share any post like this, however, I have come to expect a lecture on the need to depend on Christ for these issues, which only further demonstrates my points.

Senior pastors are to fully rely on Christ’s strength, as is every other believer. This is just a reminder that we happen to also be like Elijah…"a man just like us" (James 5:17).

Pastors, anyone honest enough to agree?

Are You Surrended to Him?

By Beth Moore

Beth founded Living Proof Ministries in 1994 with the purpose of teaching women how to love and live on God’s Word. She has written numerous books and Bible studies, including Breaking Free, Believing God, and The Patriarchs, that have been read by women of all ages, races, and denominations.





Catalyst East 2010: Beth Moore from Catalyst on Vimeo.

Do You Know the Most Dangerous Person in Your Church?

By Erik Raymond

Erik is a pastor at Emmaus Bible Church (EmmausBibleChurch.org), a church plant south of Omaha. Converse with Erik on Twitter at @erikraymond.


In addition to leading and teaching, pastors are called to protect or guard the flock (Titus 1:5, 9; 2:15; John 21:15–19). Therefore, it logically follows that it is important for pastors to know who is in attendance and membership within the congregation. There are obviously many practical reasons for this, but one is certainly to protect the flock from potential harm.

So I ask you, “Who is the most dangerous guy at your church?”

Here I am not so much aiming at an individual as I am looking at a type of person.

Sure, we all can spot the unbeliever who doesn’t fluently speak the language of Zion, we can identify the person from doctrinally anemic backgrounds because they keep cutting themselves with the sharp knives in the theology drawer, and of course, any Calvinist can sniff out an Arminian within 20 seconds.

But I submit that these types of people are not the most dangerous people who attend your church. At least, they are not in my experience.

Instead, the most dangerous person at your church is the apparently smart guy who is unteachable.
When I say "unteachable," I mean that he has it all figured out. He is the classic “Don’t confuse me with the facts, I know what I believe” guy.

This is the guy who seems to have a lot of biblical knowledge. He can drop the 30 lb. words and effectively argue his point. Very often, he is quite involved and appears to have things together. However, he is dangerous because of the reason you would not think; he is unteachable.

Let me give you some reasons why and how he is dangerous:

1. He Is Gospel-Eclipsing

The great commission has learning embedded in it (Matthew 28:18–20). This means that being a disciple is being one who is always learning. Therefore, to have it all figured out is to deny who you are. As Christians, we have to be people who are learning; this includes everyone from pastors to children.

2.  He Is Critical

If this guy is not being moved by the ministry of the Word, he is likely gathering bullets to shoot at leaders. He sits quietly during the sermons and teachings only to pick apart everything like a Monday morning quarterback. His unteachability looks the exact opposite of what James 1 teaches:

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Therefore, put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. (James 1:20–21)

(Please note this is not a repudiation of constructive criticism. This is desperately needed. There is a difference between constructive and destructive criticism, however.)

3. He Is Divisive

This is dangerous for the church in that it invariably brings division (Titus 3:10). This type of boiling pot eventually spills over, and when he does, he hurts unity and people.

In my experience, division in the church usually is a result of somebody being unteachable. This type of thing has a long legacy. Consider how Diotrephes liked to put himself first and stir up division. How did he do this? He did not submit to the teaching of the Apostles (3 John 9–10). He was unteachable.

This is obviously dangerous for his own soul but also for the church. Just as Diotrephes had influence in that congregation, so too the unteachable guy no doubt has influence in your local assembly. The influence of an unteachable guy is a vehicle for division.

4. He Is Joy-Robbing

A church that is teachable brings its leaders joy. A church or church member who is not robs them of joy. It’s that simple (Hebrews 13:7, 10). I can attest to the fact that this is very true.

5.  He Is a Time-Waster

Let me be careful how I say this. I don’t mean that labor in the ministry is a waste of time. But what I do mean is that unteachable guy is one who continues to take up pastoral leadership’s time with arguments. He just keeps resetting the same issue over and over again. He can find anything to nitpick and be critical about. So in this sense, he is a waste of time. Or, as Paul might say, the labor is in vain (Philippians 2:16; 2 Thessalonians 3:5).

So what do you do with him?

Pray for him

Forbid it that pastors become callous and unmoved themselves! The desire is for growth in the gospel. Therefore, pray (Colossians 1:9-14; 2 Peter 3:18).

Minimize his influence

Pastors should always be careful about who is appointed unto leadership. In this case, it would obviously make sense not to just put the Bible trivia champ in charge of teaching and leadership items. This is because the Bible trivia champ could also be a spiritual MMA champ on the side.

Watch him and the sheep

If this guy is a Christian, then he must be cared for, too. The pastor must do this while guarding and caring for the flock. This is the type of thing that keeps pastors up at night (see #4 above).

Lovingly aim to teach him 

Keep on keeping on (Titus 2:15).

Confront where necessary 

When there is sin involved, Jesus is clear (Matthew 18:15–18).

This type of thing weighs heavy upon pastors and church members alike. Therefore, even the consideration of such things should cause us to pause, evaluate our own hearts, and pray for receptivity of the word of Christ (James 1:20ff; Colossians 3:15).

A Church of Radical Acceptance and Uncensored Grace

By John Ortberg and Jud Wilhite

Monvee Perspectives: John Ortberg & Jud Wilhite from Monvee Video on Vimeo.

Crazy Love: Ch. 10

By Francis Chan

Crazy Love: Ch. 9

By Francis Chan

Crazy Love: Ch. 8

By Francis Chan

Crazy Love: Ch. 7

By Francis Chan

Crazy Love: Ch. 6

By Francis Chan

Crazy Love: Ch. 5

By Francis Chan

Crazy Love: Ch. 4

By Francis Chan

Father's Love, Crazy Love: Ch. 3

By Francis Chan

Love, Crazy Love: Ch. 2

By Francis Chan

How to Get Out of Your Religious Routine, Crazy Love: Ch. 1

By Francis Chan
Crazy Love, Chapter 1


Francis Chan is an author and church leader, formerly the pastor of Cornerstone Church in Simi Valley, California. Chan has authored several books, including Crazy Love and Forgotten God. He is also the founder of Eternity Bible College and sits on the board of directors of Children's Hunger Fund and World Impact. Francis lives in California with his wife, Lisa, and their four children.

3 Tips for a More Biblical Thanksgiving

By J. John

J. John has been described as refreshing, humorous, passionate, earthy, accessible and dynamic. He is a creative Christian speaker with an appeal that transcends gender, age, race, culture and occupation. His much-loved art of storytelling helps people to discover spiritual meaning in a way that makes sense of everyday life. To date, he has completed thousands of speaking engagements at conferences, towns, cities and universities in 54 countries on 6 continents. J. John has authored over 50 titles, and there are over a million copies of his books in print in thirteen languages.

No U.S. holiday is as distinctive as Thanksgiving. In our busy, deadline-fixated age, expressing gratitude to our heavenly Father is too easily squeezed out of our lives, but it is important. First, I think human beings are "hardwired" to do this. Even atheists seem to have unsettling moments when they feel an irresistible urge to thank someone "up there." One of the problems with atheism occurs when pain is avoided or pleasure gained—having no one to give thanks to leaves you with an itch you cannot scratch.

But there is more than a primeval urge to justify thanking God. On almost every page of the Bible, we see this as a theme. The Old Testament reverberates with the sound of people praising God; Israel’s history is full of thanksgiving to God for showing them mercy and delivering them from disaster.

The New Testament is no less full of thanksgiving. Jesus himself offers up thanks to God the Father, most importantly at the Last Supper (Matthew 26:26-27), where the word used for thanksgiving is Eucharist, still used in many churches for communion. Paul not only regularly gives thanks; he actually commands it of others.

This gives us some guidelines for "biblical" thanksgiving:

First, biblical thanksgiving is innocent.

In giving thanks to God, there should be no motive other than pure gratitude. Thanksgiving is giving thanks and that alone. Of all the different types of prayer, this is least likely to be contaminated by our own conscious or subconscious desire to manipulate God.

Second, biblical thanksgiving is intelligent.

It involves looking back over the past—whether the last week or an entire life—and identifying things for which we are grateful. Thanksgiving is neglected today partly because modern Western culture is so obsessed with the future. But to give thanks to God is to look backward, not forward, and to express gratitude for the good things that have come our way.

Third, thanksgiving should be inclusive.

It's easy just to say, "Thank you, God" for the health and wealth we have. But do we also give God thanks for friends, family, housing, holidays, or a hundred other lesser things? Let's give him thanks for all the little things in life, too.

Giving God thanks should be a theme running through our lives. At least five blessings result from this:
The first is that thankfulness forces us to focus on what we have had rather than what we want. In our materialistic culture, we can succumb to a consumerism of the soul that reduces our prayers to shopping lists. Thankfulness looks outward, not inward. It realigns our lives so that they revolve around God instead of trying to make God revolve around us.

The second is that thankfulness highlights grace. To give thanks is to admit that you are dependent, to say, "I couldn't have done this on my own, but you helped me." Thanksgiving removes the temptation to boast and strengthens the only basis on which we can relate to God: that of accepting our own unworthiness and God’s free grace in Jesus Christ.

The third is that thankfulness encourages a positive attitude. It forces us to think about what is right with our lives rather than what is wrong. This is important in an age when many feel depressed. Thanking God is a proven way of piercing the gloomiest of clouds.

A fourth is that thankfulness develops hope for the future. Looking backward to the past with thanksgiving actually helps us to look toward the future with anticipation.

A fifth is that to practice thankfulness regularly ensures that gratitude will spill over into every area of our lives. We cannot thank God for difficult colleagues, relatives, or neighbors for long before finding that we express a positive attitude toward them. Grumpiness and irritability do not grow well in a climate of gratitude. Those who regularly give thanks to God find they are ready to give to others. Gratitude and generosity go hand in hand.

Whether or not we celebrate Thanksgiving, we all need to be reminded to practice thanksgiving on a daily basis. That "attitude of gratitude" is not just a duty to be fulfilled but something that will bless us and others. It's typical of God’s graciousness that the best gift we can give ourselves and others is to say thanks for what we have already received.

Why We Need Silence and Solitude?

We don't realize the weight of Christian expectations until we quiet ourselves and get alone

Ruth Haley Barton, with Ginger Kolbaba

When I started practicing silence and solitude, I lasted ten minutes, eventually twenty, then a half an hour. Finally someone led me into an all-day silence and solitude retreat. I'd never experienced an all-day time of silence and solitude, so it was kind of daunting.

The morning felt similar to what I had done in the past on my own. But when it came time for lunch, we were told we were going to eat our lunch in silence. As we ate in silence in the retreat house dining room, I just fell to pieces. I started to weep and thought, What is this? What is happening here? I'm a pretty in-control kind of person. I won't usually let that kind of emotion overwhelm me.

And because we were in silence, because none of us were allowed to talk to each other, nobody could come and try to fix me. So all I could do was be by myself with God. He was my companion for lunch. And as I stayed with my experience, I began to be aware of the weight of Christian expectations on me—of being a good Christian, a good neighbor, a good mother, a good wife, a good person in ministry, a good leader.

I realized that my Christian life had become such a heavy weight. The tears were purely tears of relief that I wasn't going to have to go into this lunch and talk to somebody, that I wasn't going to have to figure out some sort of a social interaction, that nothing was expected of me. I didn't have to fix it. I didn't have to serve it. I didn't have to socialize over it. I didn't have to do anything but allow someone to serve me lunch in the presence of God.

Then I realized this was ridiculous. My Christian life had gotten to the place where it was so weighty that when I got to this moment in which I was allowed to be quiet and to be served, I became an emotional wreck. I was now aware of the level of exhaustion I never knew existed within me—a direct result of the way I'd been living my Christian life. It wasn't anybody's fault but my own.My life wasn't working at this level. That realization was profound.

The Rhythm of Silence and Word

Silence is the time when we withdraw from our addiction to noise, words, and activity. And so in silence we withdraw from our own inner compulsions, not just the expectations of other people, but from our addiction to our own thoughts and words. And so we develop this rhythm of silence and word.

Bonheoffer says right words come out of right silence, and right silence comes out of right words—an interplay between silence and word. Scriptures also tell us that in a multitude of words, there is much transgression. What's the solution to that? To shut our mouths every so often, so that we can hear a word from the Lord. One of the reasons we don't hear a word from the Lord and yet long for one is that we never stop the flow of our own words. How in the world are we going to hear something from God if we're always talking?

A Soul in God's Presence

Silence challenges us on every level of our being. When we're silent, we have to face ourselves. We might notice our own discomfort and anxiety, and we don't want to do that. We feel if we can just fill up the time, we don't have to face our true selves.

The human psyche is very good at distracting us and finding ways to keep us from being aware of those things we'd rather not be aware of—our loneliness, our emptiness, relationships that aren't working, questions that make us uncomfortable. That's one reason why silence before God makes us uncomfortable—because we have to face what's real and what's not real between us and God. I have to face my questions, my loneliness, my brokenness. It's much easier for us to identify with our achievements, skills, personas, titles, and roles. That's a much more comfortable arena. And there's a lot of fodder for the ego in that arena. To feel that I can do something about this, that, or the other feeds my ego. Silence actually starves the ego, because the normal things that the ego loves to feed on aren't there anymore, and now we're just us—a soul in God's presence.

No Evaluations

We evaluate everything. We even bring it into our relationship with God, which is a travesty. We come into solitude and say, Okay, God, we're going to be together for this amount of time. I'm giving you my full, undivided attention. And whatever happens here I'm going to believe is what you intended because I'm not in control here; you are. And then we leave that time and evaluate it. We judge it and say, "I didn't get anything out of that."

Think about being with your spouse in a time of intimacy. Then you look back on it, evaluate it, and say, "That didn't do anything for me." How does that cheapen the relating? We don't do that with a person we love. We just receive the time for what it is and are grateful for it.

That's the way I see solitude and silence—a time to be with God very intimately, and whatever it is, we're grateful for it. It's meaningful because we are with this person that we enjoy and love.

Alone With God

OVERVIEW
As busy women, our lives can easily become overwhelming and over-programmed. From work to parenting to marriage to housekeeping to church to volunteering, we can get used to having our lives jam-packed with responsibilities and commitments. Though we long for time alone with God, when we actually get that time, we can flounder. What to do? How do we fill an hour with God? Or two? Or maybe even three?

These 12 different ideas and experiences you can use during a period of time you’ve set aside to be alone with God and focus on silence and solitude. Each idea can take from 10 to 20 minutes. So flip through these pages and zero in on the experiences that fit you best. If you’ve got just an hour, plan on doing about 4 experiences; or, alternately, you could take about half of a day to utilize all 12 ideas.

Idea 1: Explore
Study what the Bible says about silence and solitude.

Idea 2: Read and Respond
Read an article about silence and solitude and respond with prayer.

Idea 3: Create
Fashion a visual focal point to help you center on God.

Idea 4: Journal
Use journal prompts to help you get real with yourself during this time alone with God.

Idea 5: Read & Respond
Read an article and take a moment to rest.

Idea 6: Pray
Ponder an ancient hymn and turn your heart toward God in wordless prayer.

Idea 7: Journal
Express the challenges you’re experiencing in solitude and explore what they reveal about you.

Idea 8: Contemplate
Meditate on a psalm about quiet contentment.

Idea 9: Do
Do something childish to enjoy God’s created world.

Idea 10: Pray
Use a cup and water to pray about loneliness and solitude.

Idea 11: Do
Enjoy exercise, a hobby, or a project with God.

Idea 12: Create
Make a simple piece of pottery as you invite God to form and shape you.

Ruth Haley Barton is the author of Sacred Rhythms, Invitation to Silence and Solitude, and Longing for More. The article is adapted from a Kyria interview with Ginger Kolbaba.

From Relevant Dude to Spiritual Father

Baby Boomers wanted pastors who were "with it," competent, efficient. A new generation is looking for something very different.

By Kevin A. Miller

Josh, a twenty-something guy in my church, invited me to play basketball at Triangle Park. "A lot of guys from church will be there," he said. Without much thought, I said yes.

When I showed up in my JCPenney sneakers, I looked around the asphalt court and realized the last time I played 5-on-5, full court, was longer ago than these guys have been alive.

The game started, and I ran the court, filling the lane like my freshman coach had taught back when Dr. J was playing in the ABA. It felt good to go up for a rebound. I've still got it, I thought. Then I threw up an air ball. The next time I got the ball, it was quickly swiped away. In theological terms, my game bore the marks of the Fall.

After my team lost, new teams were formed (the main goal being to divide up the guys from Indiana, where they start dribbling a basketball in preschool), and my team was designated "skins." I'm so white and skinny, I look like the Pillsbury Doughboy after he married Jenny Craig. When I peeled off my t-shirt, some of the young guys hooted.

As I drove my minivan home that night, I thought, I embarrassed myself. I showed how painfully old and uncool I am. Plus, this wasn't doing anything in the way of ministry.

The next week, Josh asked, "You coming out to Triangle?"

"I, uh, no, I'm kind of busy," I said.

"Well, okay, but we'd love to have you."

Well, yeah, I thought. It's nice to have someone to score against. But then Nate stopped me at church and said, "It was great having you play this week. Hope you come again." Scott, one of the Indiana guys, said the same. So did another guy. I got more positive comments from that lame basketball performance than from most sermons I preach.

That led to other discoveries about ministry among twenty-somethings. There are some clear differences between the generation that beat me at basketball and my own.

Baby Boomers tend to ask me about results: "How many showed up last night?" Millennials ask about relationship: "Next Tuesday, can you hang out?"

When we bring loving pastoral discipline to a Baby Boomer, he will often try to squirm out of it; when we do the same with a Millennial, he's likely to stay and end up closer to the pastors and the church.

Baby Boomers show up for classes and programs; Millennials show up for mentoring. Both show up for retreats.

While Boomers want their church leaders relevant, competent, and efficient, a new generation is looking for a different kind of minister. At my church, 80 percent of adults are under 40, and they seem to want me firm, mature, and relationally present (even if I'm uncool). In short, they want me to be a spiritual father. For some, I'm the Christian dad they never had. For others, I'm the father figure who's here now.

This is causing me to rethink the way I do ministry. It has driven me back to the Scriptures. For this is far more than mere generational preference. What's at stake is our very identity as pastors. It's how we as pastors answer the question: Who am I, and what am I supposed to be doing?

Pastoral Identity Crisis

In the 1970s, when Boomers began to graduate from seminary, pastors began shifting their role from shepherd to leader. Now, of course, the leader-CEO model is rejected by many. But what will take its place? Pastors seem lost, with little guidance on the core question: What's my role?

I keep coming back to an ancient answer—one that never seemed so fresh. It's what the third-century Christians called a spiritual father, an "abba" (or spiritual mother, "amma"). When young believers zealously pursued lives of prayer, they knew that amid their fierce temptations, they needed sage counsel. They went to their spiritual father.

To me, our way forward as pastors today involves becoming a spiritual father (or mother). It's an answer that fits Scripture, Christian tradition, and the longings of our time.

The role depends on (1) spiritual maturity, born of prayer and experience; (2) an intimate knowledge of another person's life and spiritual condition; and (3) an ability to speak the truth in love in a personal way: "Warn those who are lazy. Encourage those who are timid. Take tender care of those who are weak" (1 Thess. 5:14-15).

This is the primary way faith is passed on. Older teach younger (Prov. 3:1-2); fathers have sons (2 Tim. 2:1-2; Titus 1:4); older women train younger women (Titus 2:4-5). And spiritual parenting transcends the current debate over whether pastors should be shepherds, leaders, agents of cultural transformation, or something else. As a spiritual father or mother, you break free from fads; you don't invest years of ministry in a model soon outdated. Indeed, your ministry can become more powerful, not less, with age.

Whatever your ministry, consider what it means to be a spiritual father or mother. Here are three shifts I'm trying to make, and what I'm learning as I do.

From Relevance to Depth

In Christianity Today Brett McCracken writes, "In order to remain relevant in this new landscape, many evangelical pastors and church leaders are following the lead of the hipster trendsetters, making sure their churches can check off all the important items on the hipster checklist." Including:

"Show clips from R-rated Coen Brothers films (No Country for Old Men, Fargo) during services.

"Sponsor church outings to microbreweries.

"Put a worship pastor onstage decked in clothes from American Apparel.

"Be okay with cussing."

I'm not against cultural awareness and engagement. For most people today, pop culture is their culture, so it can be an act of love to learn it. But to be a spiritual father means you are definitely not Wholly Relevant. Dads are, by definition, older and not hip. This one hurts. I spent much of my forties not wanting to accept my age, not wanting to lose my place among the popular and the trendsetting.

However, to pursue relevance is to lose your spiritual power. When all you read, watch, and listen to is what everyone else is reading, watching, and listening to, you have nothing to say.

Chris, a young guy in my church who moved to Manhattan for grad school, explained to me: "The highly relevant pastor is bro'. There's certainly a place for pastors to be in tune with culture and to be relatable. But where do I find a man of God who will nurture my spiritual life? That's what's I need. Relevance is easy to find. But when I stumble in that same old sin that I keep slipping in, I need someone with wisdom and maturity to go to. It's fine if that person also happens to know about some great new indie bands, but in those moments, I need something else. I need depth."

Since it's always been true that "You reproduce what you are," why would we care more about reproducing relevance than reproducing depth? Why trade the timeless for the trendy? Is it because we don't want to pay the slow and taxing price to actually become someone of spiritual depth?

Martin Luther once said that what forges a minister is prayer, meditation, and temptation. Let's not diminish the role of that third ingredient. It's in temptation that we grow deeper by choosing the way of the cross. It's here, when we fail, that we learn brokenness. Richard Rohr calls this "the authority of those who have suffered."

Here we come to know God's power (2 Cor. 12:9). What people most need in their pastor is someone who's suffered and come through it better, with faith and hope and love intact. That's what a spiritual father or mother can offer.

I, for one, cannot offer this without a life of prayer. Our church asks each senior pastoral staff member to spend one day in prayer each month. (Over the course of a year, that yields 12 days, or two full weeks, in prayer.) That prayer day is paid. Even so, under the tyranny of the urgent, it's tempting to skip this month's prayer day to catch up on email. So we have to ask each other: "Have you taken your prayer day?"

Out of the depth of prayer, meditation, and temptation, I may or may not be able to offer intimate knowledge of contemporary culture. But I can offer genuine interest in each person and his or her culture. I may not have seen the latest movie, but if not, it's fine to say, "No, I haven't seen it. Tell me what you liked about it." And even more than talk about a movie, people want to tell me about their lives, to have me listen and care that "My mom's coming out to visit next week" or "My nephew's still in ICU."

The power to listen with compassion comes not from relevance but from depth.

From Efficiency to Intimacy

The church-growth movement of the 1970s and 1980s taught pastors that instead of shepherding, a slow and outmoded way of caring for animals, we had to learn the efficiency of ranching. Picture driving your pickup past vast herds.

But if any churchgoer ever wanted to be "ranched," today's twenty-somethings definitely do not.

 

Sociologist Christian Smith and other researchers tell us that today's young adults walk a long, uneven road to maturity. "There is a new and important stage in life in American culture," he writes in Books & Culture, "what scholars call 'emerging adulthood,' the time of life between ages 18 and 30." Not surprisingly, since they don't feel they've reached full maturity, the "emerging adults" in my church hunger for spiritual fathers and mothers to help them get there. And parenting is not a large-group experience; few families have more than eight children.

So I've been experimenting at church with "Transformation Conversations," extended times of listening to another man and then helping him form a spiritual-growth plan for the coming year. (Mature women are beginning to do the same with younger women.) It generally takes two 90-minute conversations before I feel I know the shape of someone's soul well enough to offer a few "pastoral invitations."

In one recent Transformation Conversation, we talked honestly about this young man's vocation, money, relationships, marriage.

We finished, and he said, "Since my wife and I attend worship regularly, serve, and give, it would be easy to conclude we're doing fine. But I need shepherding, too. And I don't think I felt fully shepherded until right now."

At times I look at how much time these conversations take, and I think, This is painfully slow and inefficient. The raw truth is that spiritual fathering is something you can't accelerate, microwave, chart, whiteboard, measure, or scale.

But there is no substitute for being known by another. This is parenting, meaningful spiritual intimacy. People say these conversations are changing them, but even if they weren't, I know they are changing me: as I listen deeply to someone, I care more deeply for him, and I can't help but pray for him.

Does this "inefficient" approach to ministry mean you limit the growth of your church? That depends. The answer to more sheep is more shepherds—what the Bible calls "elders" or "undershepherds" (1 Peter 5), "fathers" (1 John 2), or "older women" (Titus 2).

So your growth is limited by the number of shepherds (whether lay or ordained) who can do this kind of work. I look for the people who are spiritually mature—usually in the second half of life, though not always—good listeners, confidential, loving, and able to restore someone gently (Gal. 6:1).

From Being Liked to Respected

I know I'm unlike anyone else who's gone into ministry, but I like to be liked. Too bad that what church "kids" sometimes need is discipline, a process that generally means I'll be disliked (at least, for a time).

What helps me is to realize that though people resent church discipline and push back against it, usually deep down they know they need it. And even if they don't like it (or me), to be a spiritual father means I must take the risk and plunge into bringing guidance and loving discipline to my spiritual children.

I've had to ask someone to step down from a ministry he enjoyed; he looked like he'd been kicked. In one case I had to ask someone to refrain from receiving Communion for a season, and that was painful for him and for me. But usually, the discipline is not so formal and public. Instead, it's a corrective word when he's begun to veer but not yet left the roadway.

Over lunch a young man said, "I feel anxious a lot."

"What do you do to help with the anxiety?" I asked.

"I have a couple of drinks."

I could tell he was becoming emotionally dependent on the alcohol, and I knew I needed to address that. But I ducked it, chiding myself for my cowardice.

Thankfully, a few weeks later, we met again, and this time, he brought it up. I lovingly challenged him with my concern. And that conversation became a turning point for him.

When people sense that your correction comes because you know them and you love them, the majority of people accept discipline and grow through it.

Sometimes I shake my head and wonder, Why do they stay? My theory: They've never known a world without internet porn and access to strong, compulsive powers. Deep down, they are saying, "Protect me from the forces in my life that are raging out of control and threaten to consume me." Discipline, caringly administered, makes them feel loved and secure.

As Robert Frost put it in Our Heavenly Father: "Our basic need from our fathers is one of affectionate authority."

Becoming a Spiritual Dad (or Mom)

Lest I offer only a paradigm and not the practical steps to enter it, here are three I've found helpful:

1. Count the cost. As a spiritual father, there is much I can lose: relevance, efficiency, and being liked (at least, at the moment of bringing correction or discipline). I may lose the cachet of my church growing rapidly. And being a father ties me down: Kids need fathers who stay, so I can't just take my talents to South Beach. Let us count that cost.

But in being a spiritual father or mother, there is much to gain. You gain depth, intimacy, and being respected. What a joy it is to have a spiritual son or daughter call, stop by, or send a Facebook message, just to let you know how things are going, to share a worry or something to celebrate. It's the spiritual equivalent of a child bringing home a picture from school for you to proudly display on the fridge.

2. Be fathered (or mothered) yourself. When I was in elementary school, my dad's commute was two hours each way. In those formative years, every Monday through Friday, I never ate a meal with my dad. That left a gaping hole in my soul, and I sometimes wondered, How can I be a father to others when I hardly know what it means to be fathered myself?

My answer was born out of crisis. As I neared age 40, I struggled with a loss of meaning. That was humbling: I'd always told myself that because of my faith in Christ, I would never experience a midlife crisis. My wife finally said, "I can't help you. Why don't you go see Doug?" 

That began an 11-year journey in which Doug and I have met almost every month. Doug listens, ask questions, cares, prays. Twice in those 11 years he has firmly warned against a decision I was about to make. But mostly, he has just shown up, and somewhat silently and mysteriously, his steady, caring presence in my life strengthens me to father others.

3. Rethink your calendar. You probably already have a few people in whom you feel a spiritual interest, and you sense that if you parent them, they will be able to parent others (2 Tim. 2:2). Then make time to get to know them, to show up, to be a steady presence.

Appointment by appointment, you slowly enter the joy Spurgeon once expressed: "What position is nobler than that of a spiritual father who claims no authority and yet is universally esteemed, whose word is given only as tender advice, but is allowed to operate with the force of law? … Lovingly firm and graciously gentle, he is the chief of all because he is the servant of all."

Kevin A. Miller is associate rector of Church of the Resurrection in Wheaton, Illinois.

Copyright © 2011 by the author or Christianity Today International/Leadership Journal.
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Approval Addiction vs. the "Now" Power of the Gospel

By Tullian Tchividjian

Tullian Tchividjian is the Senior Pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. A Florida native, he is a visiting professor of theology at Reformed Theological Seminary and a grandson of Billy and Ruth Graham.

Editor's Note: As church leaders, our ability to stay focused on Jesus and the power of the Gospel is an everyday thing. No one heralds this more than the grandson of Billy Graham and pastor of Coral Ridge, TullianTchividjian. We recently spoke with Tullian about his new book, Jesus + Nothing = Everything, the danger of approval addiction, and the power of the Gospel. 



THE MERGE
The book was born out of a terrible season of pain and suffering for me.  I’m only 39 years old, but so far the hardest year of my life was 2009.  It was very difficult for a handful of reasons, the primary one being that was the year the church I planted down here in South Florida merged with Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church in Fort Lauderdale.  The church I planted in 2003 was about five-and-a-half years old and about 15 minutes up the road from Coral Ridge.  Coral Ridge is a well-known, famous church that was founded by Dr. D. James Kennedy in 1959.  He passed away in 2007.  The church was, for the very first time, in the unique position of having to go out and find a pastor.  They had never been in that position before so they approached me.  I told them I was humbled and I was honored but that I was not interested.  They came back a couple of months and basically asked the same thing.  Again, I said I’m humbled, I’m honored, but I’m not interested.

About four or five months later, they came back, and that’s when they proposed a potential merger between the two churches.  So we put a team of guys together from our church and their church, and we met for probably three or four months going through a meticulous due diligence process, looking under every rock and behind every tree.  It became very clear at the end of that process that this is, in fact, what God wanted us to do.  He wanted us to merge these two churches and birth one new church out of it.  So we knew it was going to be very difficult.  We knew it was going to be painful.  Coral Ridge, as well known as it was, had been in decline for about ten years and really needed some updating, needed a facelift, needed a change.  So we knew it was going to be painful.  We knew it was going to be difficult.

I felt like the father of a blended family, and all of the fireworks that we anticipated started going off almost immediately.  There was a small but vocal group of people in the church, long-time Coral Ridge people, who opposed the merger before it even happened.  And then after it happened, they started opposing it from within the church and really challenging me publicly in various ways, through letters to the congregation, anonymous blogs, a petition drive.  Because the church is well known and my family is well known, it became fodder for the press.  It was widely publicized that there was trouble at Coral Ridge.  It was embarrassing on numerous levels.  I was being attacked; my character was being attacked, not only inside the church but also publicly outside the church.  I had never been through anything like this before.  The shelling was heavy.  I wanted to give up on numerous occasions.

I had been there for about two-and-a-half months when a petition drive was started inside the church to get me removed.  Of course, as you can imagine, it was very painful for my wife and for my three kids.  We wondered what in the world we had done.  God had been doing great things in our church plant and through our church plant. Everything was going really well, and my life as I knew it had come to a screeching halt.  Life became very, very hard.  And I can remember, I tell the story at the beginning of the book, I tell the story of me finally having it out with God in the summer of 2009 and basically telling Him, “I want my old life back. God, You really screwed up here, and I want my old life back.”  And very gently but firmly, through Colossians chapter 1, God reminded me that it wasn’t my old life I wanted back.

APPROVAL ADDICTION
It was my old idols I wanted back, and He loved me too much to give them to me.  And what I realized in that moment was just how dependent I had become on human approval and human acceptance and what other people thought of me to make me feel important and to make me feel like I matter.  And it was during that time that God liberated me by helping me to see that Jesus plus nothing equals everything.  And I know that sounds like a trite, preachable tagline, but it became my lifeline.

You don’t realize just how desperately you need Jesus until He takes away a lot of the things that you are depending on that are infinitely smaller than Him.  There were people out to get me, there were people wanting to take me down, there were people who were opposing me at every turn. I didn’t realize just dependent I had become over the years on what people thought of me until God took that away.  And now, for the very first time, I have those who don’t like me, who don’t approve of me, who are out to get me, who are criticizing me privately and publicly, and stirring up trouble to get me thrown out.  God brought me to the end of myself.  He broke my legs, and in the process, taught me grace.

So this book is basically an autobiographical account of the most difficult year of my life, the year when God brought me to the end of myself and helped me rediscover the “now” power of the Gospel, that everything I need and everything I long for, in Christ, I already possess.  All of the approval I long for, all of the affection that I long for, all of the acceptance I long for, all of the worth and value and purpose I long for, I already possess in Christ.  And when that grips your heart, it absolutely sets you free because now you’re no longer dependent on transient things like what other people think of you to make you feel as if you matter.  It absolutely set me free, and I wrote the book because I love pastors.

It seems unfair to me that just because I come from a well-known family and the church is well known that I’m the only one telling this story and it’s getting press.  I know a lot of pastors who have gone through not only similar things but worse things than me, but my hope is to give voice to the painful struggle of pastoral ministry and church leadership and to really exhort Christian leaders and pastors to find their identity and security and worth and value in what Jesus has already accomplished for us.  I think so often, at least this is the case for me, you begin to believe "If my ministry is successful, I’m a success.  And if my ministry’s a failure, then I’m a failure."  That just confines you to life in a prison cell.  It steals your joy, it robs you of your freedom, it takes away your courage and your boldness to say things and do things you need to say and do because you’re afraid of what other people might say or how they might react.
The only thing that got me through, the absolute only thing that got me through was coming to a fresh realization that everything I need in Christ I already possess.  And that just liberated me to live and lead in a free, Gospel-centered way.

FREEDOM IN CHRIST
What I realized during that difficult time is that it was only the Gospel that had the power to free me from my addiction to be liked.  And that is something that we struggle with, whether we’re conscious of it or not.  One of the reasons we get into ministry and get into preaching is because we’re people pleasers.  And that’s something that only the Gospel can free you from and can free you for living life in a posture of “to live is Christ; to die is gain.”  I’ve discovered that pain and suffering are the primary tools God uses to set us free.

Throughout the book, I state that real slavery, according to the Bible, is self-reliance, trying to secure for myself the approval and acceptance and meaning and validation that I long for. Realizing that the Gospel is just as important after you become a Christian as it was before is something that was brand new to me.  I grew up in church thinking that the power of the Gospel was for people outside the church.  When I heard the word Gospel, it was synonymous almost exclusively with evangelism, that once God saves you, He moves you beyond the Gospel.  Another way I thought about it theologically was justification is step 1, sanctification is step 2, and once you get to step 2, you never need to go back to step 1.  And what I’ve learned is that sanctification is a process, that daily process of getting used to your justification and believing that what God has said about you is true.

That’s the hardest thing to believe.  Unbelief is at the bottom of every temptation we face to locate our identity in something smaller than Jesus.  It just seems too good to be true.  "You’re telling me that all of the approval I long for and all of the acceptance I long for and all of the affection I long for, I already possess in Jesus?  I don’t believe that.  I’ve got to go out and get that stuff for myself, and I need other people to give it to me."  And so the Gospel, the “now” power of the Gospel—I don’t think too many Christians have a problem believing that the Gospel justifies us, and I don’t think too many people have a difficult time believing that it’s the Gospel that eventually glorifies us, but I think we have a terrible time believing that the Gospel alone is what sanctifies us.  It doesn’t just ignite the Christian life; it’s the fuel that keeps the Christians going and growing every day.  I could have said that theologically with great passion before 2009, but it wasn’t until 2009 that it became a functional, heartfelt reality for me.

REDEFINING APPLICATION
The other thing, too, is that I don’t want to readers to think that the burden is on them to apply.  I tried to redefine application in terms of rediscovering on a daily basis by the power of God’s grace through the internal witness of the Holy Spirit, realizing what Christ has already applied to us.  When we think of application, it’s how do we now put into practice what God is telling us to do, and God’s always saying, "No, the real meaning of application is daily rediscovering what Christ has already applied to you and living in that reality of acceptance and approval and unconditional love."

Faith that Sticks

Intergenerational connections and parental involvement give kids a faith that lasts beyond high school.

By Kara Powell

A coffee cup never looked so interesting.

Or so it seemed when I asked 24-year-old Rebecca what her life had been like after she graduated from our church's youth ministry.

After staring at her coffee for a few moments, Rebecca admitted, "My life after high school was really, really tough."

As a college freshman, she ventured into a "missionary dating" relationship with a guy who wasn't a Christian. They went much further physically than she ever expected. Filled with shame and regret, Rebecca plunged into depression and struggled with an eating disorder.

Those words were hard to hear, but what Rebecca said next was even harder.

"I felt so badly about what I had done. The last place I felt I could turn was to God and the church." Rebecca ran away from God and from the church just when she needed them most.

Somehow Rebecca's parents, our church, and its leaders (including me) had failed her. She had graduated with a faith too weak to face the new temptations awaiting her as an emerging adult.

Our churches are filled with "Rebeccas," and filled with parents of "Rebeccas" who agonize over their children's turbulent spiritual journeys. A host of studies suggest that approximately 40 to 50 percent of kids who are part of a church or youth group will fail to stick with their faith beyond high school.

To try to understand more about the current state of both youth and the church, we at the Fuller Youth Institute studied close to 500 youth group graduates from across the U.S. during their first three years in college. Our primary goal was to identify church and family practices that build lasting faith, or what we call "sticky faith."

The Jesus Jacket

You might think that asking youth group alumni to define what it means to "be a Christian" would be a pretty straightforward question—but you'd be wrong.

Thirty-five percent of students didn't mention Jesus at all. The most dominant theme in college students' descriptions of being a Christian was that it means to "love others." Certainly, that is a major theme of Jesus' teaching. But even most atheists think it's a good idea to love other people. And they are right. It is. But true faith demands a bigger, Jesus-centered view of the gospel.

We found that many young people view the gospel like a jacket; they can put it on or take it off, based on what they feel like doing in any particular situation. If they're going to church or hanging out with Christians, they put on their "Jesus Jacket." If they're headed to a party or drifting toward spiritual apathy, they toss the Jesus Jacket into a corner.

One of the central reasons students put their faith aside is because they have a flawed understanding of the Christian life. They've picked up the idea from their parents and churches that following Jesus means merely following a list of "Do's" and "Don'ts." For example:

Do … go to church and youth group, read your Bible, pray, give money, share your faith, get good grades, respect elders, go on mission trips, and be a good kid.

Do not … watch the wrong movies, drink, do drugs, have sex, talk back, swear, hang out with the "wrong crowd," go to Cancun for spring break, or go to parties.

For many of our young people, the gospel has been reduced to what Dallas Willard calls the "gospel of sin management." The gospel becomes a list of rules and virtues, with Bible verses attached. When young people set this gospel aside, it shouldn't surprise us. Wouldn't we do the same?

Our problem as communicators is that we love teaching from lists of "Do's" and "Don'ts." But without the full picture of the real gospel that is grounded in grace rather than guilt, those commands are empty and lifeless. And they're toxic to faith. Mark Labberton, long-time pastor and now preaching professor at Fuller, has observed "students really need to grow up hearing about and experiencing God's grace. The presence of one without the other can cause serious damage to students' lives."

The Church of Two Tables

As a child, dozens of my relatives would regularly gather at my grandparents' house for the holidays. There were far too many of us to fit around one table. So we set up two tables: the adults' table and the kids' table.

The adults ate in the dining room. We ate in the TV room.

The adults sat at the fancy dining room table. We sat around card tables.

They actually had napkins. We had our shirt sleeves.

They had pleasant conversations. We threw dinner rolls at each other and had Jell-O snorting contests.

Technically we were all sharing the same meal, but we had two very different experiences.

That sounds a lot like how adults and kids experience church today. The adults' table is the sanctuary (the bigger, nicer room) and the kids' table is down the hall.

We have adult pastors. And youth pastors.

Adult worship services. And student worship services.

Adult mission trips. And student mission trips.

I'm not suggesting that we can do everything together. Do 16-year-olds need time to be together and on their own? Absolutely. As one youth worker told me, "The average 16-year-old guy doesn't want to talk about masturbation with grandma in the room." And I'm betting that grandma doesn't want to be there when he does either.

We definitely have to have gatherings that include only young people. But balance is often something we swing past on our way to the other extreme. I'm afraid that in our effort to offer relevant and age-appropriate teaching and fellowship for teenagers, we have segregated students from the rest of the church. According to our research, that segregation is causing students to shelve their faith. But there's also good news. Getting rid of the two-table system, and placing teens in intergenerational contexts of worship, ministry, and life, helps their faith thrive—in high school and beyond.

Intergenerational Imperative

The worship service provides another opportunity for integration. Ken Fong, a senior pastor at Evergreen Baptist Church of Los Angeles, has seen the power of involving young people in the church's worship. "The adolescents in the sanctuary appear to be much more energized and attentive when they see their peers on the stage, helping lead the entire faith community in worship." Their involvement isn't mere tokenism. "We invite youth to join the production team upstairs, and give them the opportunities to help shape the mood of our worship times and to explore possible areas of gifting and talent," Fong says.

To send a message about the value of intergenerational worship, one church decided to alter their Sunday morning music worship. As the worship team comprised of adults launched into their first song, a teenager from the congregation approached the platform and tapped the guitarist on his shoulder. The adult guitarist handed his guitar to the student and walked off the stage. That student immediately started playing the guitar, along with the rest of the worship team.

A minute later, another student came from the opposite side of the congregation and tapped the drummer on his shoulder. The adult drummer likewise stood and handed his drum sticks to the student, and walked off the platform. The student then started playing the drums.

The same thing happened with the bass player, the keyboardist, and all of the vocalists until the band consisted entirely of young people. The congregation loved it.

Then the senior pastor stood behind the podium to preach. After a few minutes, a voice from behind the platform said, "If you're serious about involving us, we have to go all the way." A teenager walked up from backstage and tapped the senior pastor's shoulder. The senior pastor stopped preaching, handed the microphone to the student, and walked off the platform. The young person continued with the sermon.

There's something beautiful about witnessing different generations coming together to worship. We're so used to having youth at "the kids table" that when we see them involved in corporate worship it's good for all of us, regardless of age.

Programs must also change, but not entirely. The good news is that you can move your church in an intergenerational direction without starting from scratch. You already host events that, with some careful planning, could easily become more intergenerational.

Here are just a few ideas: perhaps you encourage your men's ministry to invite high school guys to the men's annual Cook-Out. Maybe your church's youth ministry invites an adult Sunday school class to join them for part of their next mission trip. Or you see if your senior adult ministry would be open to pairing up with teenagers for the next food pantry program.

The bottom line is that if you plan ahead, you can make your church's ministries more intergenerational simply by modifying existing events rather than starting from scratch.

Meet the Parents

When I speak to parents about intergenerational ministry, something strange often happens. They start looking to their youth and children's ministers, as if it's the leaders' job to build an intergenerational web for their kids. Ideally, parents assume primary responsibility for linking their kids with a handful of caring adults. It's only when parents aren't able or willing to create this web that leaders step in to create additional strands.

A few months ago I met a single mom who understood her responsibility to surround her son with loving adults, especially men who could fill the void created by his absent father. This mom had a brilliant idea for helping her son visualize their family's sticky web. In the hallway between their bedrooms, she hung a few large collage picture frames, each of which has several openings for pictures. As her son builds a relationship with an adult—especially with a man—she takes a picture of her son with that adult. Then she places those pictures in her frames to remind them both of the amazing adults already surrounding their family. The blank picture frames yet unfilled reinforces the expectation that more adult friends will continue to help her son grow as he gets older.

In the midst of the discouraging reminders about the "Rebeccas" in our own church, we can take hope. After all, the faith and church that Rebecca had renounced are distorted facsimiles of God's dreams for his people. As leaders, we can invite young people and adults of all ages to join us in clearly fixing our gaze on the true gospel and the kind of church that God intended for his people.

Kara Powell is the executive director of the Fuller Youth Institute at Fuller Theological Seminary and co-author of Sticky Faith: Everyday Ideas to Building Lasting Faith in Your Kids (Zondervan, 2011).